


When Most Needed

by cVee



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, We deserved Harrold Hardyng in the show
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-07-28 10:56:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20062873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cVee/pseuds/cVee
Summary: "Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been'."-John Greenleaf WhittierorSansa somehow meets and befriends Harry during her short stay at the Vale.Showverse! drabbles exploring their what if's and what could've been'sand other modern au's.





	1. Meetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can we get more Stardyng fics, please?
> 
> I stand firm in the notion that Bradley James is the perfect Harrold Hardyng.

The first time Sansa meets Harrold Hardyng is after the disastrous dinner with her Aunt Lysa. She could still hear the woman’s deranged insults and the word _whore_ thrown at her ringing in her ears, could still feel her nails digging into the flesh of her hands as she kept roughly pulling them over the table and not even Sansa’s pleading words of ‘you’re hurting me’ could stop her.

  
Jerkily wiping the tears that burst forth from her eyes, dripping down her cheeks, she’s too absorbed on getting as far as possible from the madwoman’s chambers and willing herself to stop crying when she literally bumps into him.

  
His pale blue eyes stare back at her in a momentary surprise, regarding the tears still trailing down her face.

  
“My lady-“

  
“Excuse me, ser,” She courteously says, as courteous as she can with her flushed face, tear-stained cheeks and the faint sniffles escaping her lips. She doesn’t give much thought on him as she gives him a nimble curtsy before leaving him in one of the Eyrie’s many corridors.

  
The next time she sees him is on her way to the Eyrie’s garden. Calling it a garden would be overstating it, actually. There’s little plants or flowers that could grow in the place’s stony soil, not even a weirwood tree could take root in there. All it holds are grass, shrubberies, and a stone statue of a woman located at the heart of the garden. But there’s snow, blankets of white enveloping the place, and maybe she could pretend that it could be a semblance of home, pretend that there’s still hope that she could return to Winterfell and maybe if she tries hard enough she could picture vividly how home used to look like.

  
“My Lady.”

  
She swivels around, tufts of her hair slightly sweeping around with the abrupt movement. He stands tall, taller than most men, but not overly tall that he freakishly towers over her. He was handsome, she won’t deny it, with his sandy blonde hair like the knights from the songs she used to fancy when she was a child, pale blue eyes, and a prominent jaw.

  
“Ser?” She arched a brow, remotely askance.

  
He smiles, drawing her gaze to his dimples on display.” I believe I didn’t get the pleasure of getting your name, my lady.”

  
Younger Sansa would’ve swooned at the sight but not her, she subtly scrutinizes him with a barely concealed skepticism, doubts and reservations gnawing at the back of her mind.

  
“Alayne.”

  
He bows at her.” Ser Harrold Hardyng, at your service.”

  
Gently taking her hand in his and pressing a kiss on it, she couldn’t help but feel a funny tug on her stomach. She convinces herself that it’s probably due to her paranoia at the aftermath of Joffrey and King’s Landing.

  
He means to ask her if she was well, hinting at the teary state he happened upon when she had bumped into him the other day. She apologizes for the state he saw her in and assured him it had been a momentary thing. His barely concealed look indicates that he doesn’t believe her on the latter. They exchange a few words before he leaves her on the threshold to the snowy garden.

  
However, he doesn’t leave her after that, finding ways to greet her or exchange some words with her whenever she was taking a walk in the courtyard, passing by the training yard on her way there. Harry- as he had insisted on being called- would be sparring with one of the knights of the Vale and would excuse himself whenever he catches sight of her. Sometimes, he would find his way into the garden, even when there’s nothing to look at there. He enjoys her clever remarks and quips and she welcomes the interaction. Even if he tends to be playfully flirty towards her, he doesn’t try anything more with her. He doesn't leer at her or make her uncomfortable. Sometimes, she catches herself whenever he would smile at her and would wonder if his smile could make flowers grow, then becomes inwardly appalled at her naïve notions. She has to stop herself from tracing a finger down his cheek whenever his dimples would show with a tug of his lips.

  
He doesn’t even leave her when he discovers her true identity as Lady Waynwood leads her outside the tribunal, soothing her in ways that painfully reminds her of her mother. He looks surprised and bit disappointed but doesn’t turn unkind to her, even reddening with anger when she recounted how she had been beaten, humiliated, and had her father’s head chopped off in front of her to which Joffrey had claimed to be mercy in King’s Landing. He cursed at Joffrey, the knights in King’s Landing who beat her, and the Lannisters, swearing to her that she would never have to go back to that dreadful place.

  
Lord Baelish tells her, but more like commands her since his tone subtly implies there was no room for objections, not to tell Harry that she would be leaving the Vale. He somehow finds a way to send Harry on a patrol, the mountain clans were getting restless, their attacks getting more sporadic than usual.

  
At the back of her mind, she wonders if she’ll ever see him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is me getting desperate on having more Harry x Sansa fanfics, despite my crappy writing.


	2. I'm sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to think that even if Harry wasn't introduced to Sansa he did ride into Winterfell with the knights of the Vale

"I'm sorry" is the first thing Harry utters to her when they meet again. The battlefield lay quiet behind them, the clangor of swords had died away, and the sound of slaughter had hushed after they had retaken Winterfell with the help from the knights of the Vale. His sandy hair is tainted with an amalgamation of blood and sweat, face streaked with grime and exhaustion, armor dotted with blood, and the plate that covered his arm is stained with crimson red. There's blood on his cheek where an arrow had grazed him.

"There's nothing to forgive."

"I tried looking for you. No one knew where you were. All they knew was that you left with Littlefinger."

There's sadness that tinges his tone and Sansa wants to tell him that it wasn't his fault she was too foolish as to believe in Lord Baelish. She should've told him. Maybe if she had she wouldn't have to- she shudders, the images and sensations still haunts her even when she sleep and no matter how many baths she takes, or how much she cleans herself raw she could never wash it away.

He takes her into his arm and she stops herself from flinching away from him, reminding herself that this was Harry, Harry who never left (because truthfully, she was the one who left and not him), Harry who'd smile at her and call her a winter goddess when snow falls stark on her Tully red hair in that almost barren garden that seemed so far away now, Harry who'd grin and chuckle at her clever quips, Harry who, despite never fighting in a battle before, had rushed to ride with the knights of the Vale to help retake her home, Harry who-

"I missed you." Harry holds her as if the Stranger would take her away from him anytime now.

And maybe in another life she could give in to Harrold Hardyng but she was a different person now, just as her skin had turned to porcelain, to ivory, to steel, her heart had hardened just as much.

But she lets herself relish in the comfort of that embrace.


	3. Reservations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Sansa and the people around them

“I don’t like him,” Tormund gruffly grumbles, plopping next to Jon as he had been breaking his fast with Davos and Brienne’s squire, Podrick Payne.

“Who?” Jon asks, befuddled.

“Pretty boy from South.”

“Who?” Jon repeats, still knowing nothing about what Tormund was upset over.

“Is this about Ser Hardyng again?” Podrick pipes in, nervously looking at Tormund.

“The knight from Vale?” Jon quirks a brow.” What’s this about?"

“Mr. Tormund thinks that Ser Hardyng might be a threat, your grace” Podrick sheepishly says to which Tormund scowls at.

“Why would you think that?” Jon levels Tormund with a strange look.

“Because he’s always around the big woman.”

Jon bursts out in laughter.

“I believe you misunderstood,” Davos finally joins their conversation,” You might think Ser Hardyng is always around Brienne but it’s because Lady Stark is the one he follows around and wherever Lady Stark is Brienne of Tarth follows.”

“Oh.” Tormund blinks.

“Careful with that one,” Tormund tells Jon with a humorous smile,” He might steal away your sister.”

“We don’t steal away women here, Tormund,” Jon replies.

* * *

  
Brienne sighs for what seemed like the umpteenth time that day. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Sansa who glances at her.

“What is it?”

Brienne paused, hesitating, before opening her mouth. “I don’t trust him.”

“Who?”

“Ser Harrold Hardyng.”

“Harry?” Sansa furrows her brows.

“He follows you around a lot.”

Sansa smiles.” Harry’s just being… Harry. You’ll get used to it.”

“Do you trust him, my lady?”

“I do.”

The smile on Sansa’s face eases some of her reservations about the boy.

* * *

“I don’t think your sworn shield likes me,” Harry says after Brienne had left the room on his request.

“Brienne’s just wary of people around me. She’s protective.”

“Overprotective, perhaps.”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be, Harry?”

“Already bored of me, hmm?” Harry playfully smiles at her.

Sansa levels him with a look over the parchment she was writing on.

“The ginger wilding keeps looking at me weirdly.”

“Who knows, maybe he wants to drink your blood from your skull,” Sansa shrugged casually.

“ Ha ha,” Harry sarcastically replies.” You’ve been cooped up in here. We can take a walk outside.”

“You’re bored, aren’t you?” Sansa retorts.” Besides, I have not been cooped up in here. I stepped out into the god’s wood yesterday.”

“That was yesterday, Sansa,” Harry sighs.” What did Littlefinger want with you anyway? He doesn’t strike me as someone who worships the old gods.”

“Just some trivial matters.”

“Really?” Harry eyes disbelievingly.

“Really,” Sansa quipped, standing up from her seat.” Now, how about that walk?”

Harry chuckles.” You were bored too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading


	4. Of Daggers and Butterflies

When Harry swore he’d protect her, she gave him the same answer she gave to those before him who claimed they were going to protect her.

_“No one can protect me. No one can protect anyone.”_

A few days later, Harry gifts her with a dagger. The pale blade is in a spear-pointed shape and the crossguards curled into itself. The reddish brown handle is spiral fluted and wire wrapped with the direwolf insignia engraved on its pommel.

“What’s this for?” She asks, examining her present.” It’s not my nameday yet.”

“Thanks gods. It would be a terrible nameday present.”

“Is this about when I told you that you can’t protect me?” She arches a brow.

“Yup,” He replies, adjusting her grip on the dagger, his fingers making her own wrap around and under the belly of the handle, thumb in contact with the forefinger.” Block with your arm on your opponent’s or grip their elbow. Make sure to hold your knife properly. Now, try it yourself.”

“What? Right now?”

“Yes, right now.”

Sansa obliges as Harry guides her hand, instructing her on how to parry on attack. Halfway though, Harry couldn’t help but guffaw when he saw how her face scrunched in determination.

“What?” She shoots him an exasperated look, drawing back.

“It’s just that…” He stifles back his laughter.” Even with the dagger, you look as intimidating as a butterfly."

She ends up ignoring him for almost the entire duration of the day. Only giving in during dinner when he kept chattering and poking her despite her obvious silent treatment.


	5. Saffron

For a split second, a flicker of confusion and surprise washes over her when she almost bumps into Harry emerging from the rookery just as she was heading in.

“Harry?” She raises a brow.” What are you doing here?”

“Sending a raven to Gulltown,” He answers, making a face as if saying ‘what else could I be doing here?’.

Later, after Harry has excused himself for his morning training session and after she had handed the missive for the Rills, in the solace of her chambers she finally lets herself think of _her_.

The girl from Gulltown with big brown eyes and hair like honey.

Sansa had never met her but Harry told her she was very beautiful and she could still remember the way he had spoken so fondly of her. He spoke about her as if she put all the stars in his night sky and could make flowers grow even in the stony soil of the Eyrie.

  
She thinks on how it might feel to have his arms wrapped around her and feel like home, instead of feeling guilt like she was overindulging herself with this bit of comfort, letting herself relish on it with the thoughts of_ ‘just for a bit longer, let me have this’_ gnawing at the back of her mind as the world began and ended in that hug. She wonders how it would feel to just give in to his embrace without having to feel as if all that was holding her up were his arms around her, without having the realization drop on her that she was aching all over and so tired she could feel it in her bones as his embrace served as a catharsis.

  
She thinks on how she didn’t have to fear shuddering or flinching away from him when she can be soft and pliant under his touches, giving in to the affection he showers her.

  
She think how he would look at _her_ as if he saw galaxies in _her_ eyes and the sun beaming down on him in _her_ smile, instead of exhaustion and loss behind steely blue eyes and forced tight smiles.

_(Sometimes, Harry still looks at her with guilt in his eyes, looks at her as if he wants to save her and gazes at her as if he wanted to make up for not being able to protect her from **him**_ _)_

  
She wonders how it would feel to love without hiding behind masks and walls of icy fortress. She wonders how love could feel like when you can bare yourself to others without having to be reminded of how broken, used, tired, and dirty she has come to be. She thinks on how _she_ has the privilege of loving innocently and purely without having to shelter her heart, how it is to be able to spill her heart out without the fear of leaving a stain that would inevitably haunt her for years to come, for love requires a certain level of vulnerability, of exposing your fragmented and conflicted self to someone, that Sansa could never do.

  
And she wonders how it feels to be loved by him purely for love and not for the fear of losing her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any prompts for future chapters?


	6. Stay (Modern au)

“Thanks for the ride,” Sansa offered a smile, leaning closer to the car window.

“No problem,” Jon replied.” I couldn’t possibly let you go home alone this late.”

Due to an upcoming big project, Sansa and Jon, along with five people from their department had to work overtime. By the time they had been finished, Sansa had tried calling her fiancé, Harry, to pick her up but he wasn’t answering his phone so Jon, being the gentleman that he is, offered to give her a ride home.

After wishing him a safe ride home and a good night, Jon had eventually started his way home and Sansa stepped into her apartment building that she shared with Harry.

Sansa frowned.

Ever since she had caught Harry cheating on her with a girl from work, their relationship had gotten strained. Harry had tried making it up to her, begging for her forgiveness and spending most of his time with her, even getting to the point of always going home early from work.

Except today.

As she was closing the door to her apartment behind her, her phone ringtone abruptly went off in her purse. Surmising it could likely be Harry, she immediately fished for her phone, only to see an unknown number.

She almost dropped the phone in her hand when she answered it and heard what the person from the other line had said.

Her heart was ferociously pounding in her chest and her hands trembling at her sides even when she hurried to the hospital. Her mind was playing different scenarios in a neverending loop, each possibility getting worse than the last. She almost wanted to bawl in the middle of the hospital lobby when the nurse at the front desk gave her a pitying look after she had frantically asked where Harry’s room was.

“I’m sorry ma’am, but only family members are allowed to enter,” A doctor interjected when Sansa had been about to enter the room in the ICU.

“I’m his wife,” Sansa had brusquely blurted out, desperate to see Harry.

The doctor had the same pitying look on his face that the nurse had given Sansa in the hospital lobby. He proceeded to tell Sansa of Harry’s condition. The call had informed Sansa of a car accident and that had been it. According to what she could make out from the doctor in the midst of her grief and immense worry for her fiancé, Harry had experienced a blow to the head and he had lost a lot of blood, also suffering internal bleeding. He was extremely lucky to be rushed to the hospital on time since his injuries needed immediate medical attention and that he was stable as of the moment but wasn’t completely out of harm’s way. Sansa felt her heart drop at the possibility that Harry couldn’t have arrived there on time.

Sansa had all but collapsed back on the chair by Harry’s bedside when she had finally entered his room. Harry looked paler than she had even seen him, lying in that hospital bed, like a ghost amidst the white of the hospital room. The machines hummed in the background, painfully reminding Sansa of the IV's, heart monitors and oxygen tanks he was hooked to. There was large welt on his left cheek and he had bandages wrapped around his forehead to the tip of his head. He had his eyes closed and Sansa had to look at his heart monitor just to be sure that he was still there, that he was still…

A sob escaped through Sansa’s lips.

“Hey…” Sansa weakly croaked out, taking Harry’s hand in hers and painstakingly squeezing it.” Don’t leave me. Please. I’m begging you, don’t die on me, Hardyng.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also accepting Sansa x Harry prompts. Feel free to ask or message me in tumblr https://fanonisthebestshipper.tumblr.com/
> 
> Or you can just comment it below.
> 
> Thanks for reading


	7. Troublemaker (modern au)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Politics Without Borders: Westeros Politics and Governance_

Sansa traced her gaze along the title imprinted on the spine of the book, the bookcase containing row after row of neatly lined up books. She had searched that shelf for what seemed like the third time, hoping that she could finally find the reference book she needed for her class. She was currently teaching Political Science 101 in King’s Landing University and so far she was quite content with her job. However, the course needed a lot of reference books from time to time. This was the second bookstore she got into to look for the book. She was tired, hungry and she really wanted to go home.

The twins were probably as tired and eager to head home as her. Every Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, she was in charge of picking up her four year-olds from their preschool and daycare center. It was more convenient for her since it was closer to the uni and she got off early during those days.

Resolving to merely getting the pdf version online later, she turned to face Edd and Alester, only to see the latter, without any sign of his twin.

“Aster, where’s your brother?” Sansa immediately asked, alarmed. She had held Alester by his hand, sternly telling the twins not to wander around, instructing Little Eddard to hold onto his brother while she searched for a book for work.

The little boy with Tully red hair and Harrold Hardyng’s blue eyes turned his head left and right as if searching for his brother then owlishly blinked at Sansa.” Eddie was just here.”

Fear gripped Sansa, her heart racing in her chest. She tried to not let her panic show as to not alarm the kid. “Let’s look for your brother. He’s probably just around the corner.”

Eddard Hardyng had always been a troublemaker, a complete opposite from his namesake and his twin who was well-behaved and even-tempered. With the exception of his Tully blue eyes that he took after Sansa, he was Harrold Hardyng’s son through and through, the same dirty blonde hair, dimpled smiles and temperament.

Sansa had spent almost 10 minutes- the longest, most agonizing and terrifying ten minutes of her life- looking for Edd when her cellphone’s call ringtone went off, she immediately fished it out from her bag and answered it.

It was Harry.

With tears already gathering at the edges of her eyes, she tried not to let out a sob as she talked to her husband.

“What’s wrong?” Harry unsurprisingly catches on, her brittle tone must have given her away.

Sansa burst out in tears.

“I lost Edd,” She managed in between sobs.” I s-swear he… he was just… And then… He w-wandered o-off… And oh, I’m sorry. I’m such a horrible mother.”

“Calm down, Sansa.” Harry’s tone was reassuring and not laced with anger. He managed to soothe and assuage her from the other line, coaxing her to recount the event to him. Before she ended the call, Harry promised her that he was going to head there, reassuring Sansa that it was going to be okay.

That calmed her down a bit, and she made sure her other son was doing fine as well.

A few minutes later, Harry arrived… with a pouting Edd in tow.

Upon her questioning look, Harry spoke,” I saw him hiding behind a bookcase a few feet from you, giggling while he watched his worried mother fretting over him.”

Sternly, Harry turned to his troublemaker of a son.” What do you have to say to your mother, Eddard?”

Edd looked up at Sansa, eyes suddenly turning teary and chin wobbling, indicating that he was about to cry.” I’m sorry, mommy.”

Despite what he did, Sansa couldn’t help but be relieved, taking him in her arms before chastising him about running off like that.

* * *

When they arrived home, Harry had immediately sent Edd to his room that he shared with his twin, intending on making the kid ponder on his actions. Being the petulant child that he is, Edd made sure his parent knew of how he strongly he felt about this by stomping his way upstairs and slamming the door to his room.

Both parents shared a look at this.

“You’re surprisingly calm about this,” Sansa said.

Harry casually shrugged.” I hear other parents say that this is supposed to be something normal when it comes to kids.”

Sansa’s gaze shifted towards the direction of the twins’ room.” I should talk to him.”

“You should.”

It was after Sansa had gone upstairs that he noticed Alester staring at him.

“Daddy, you didn’t tell mommy about the time you lost me at Walmart.”

Harry ruffled the kid’s hair. “That’s our little secret, alright?”


End file.
